DSP - a reprise

                     Alimentary Fourier Anal-ysis
                     ----------------------------
(C) Copyright 1997 Gareth Alun Evans G4SDW

The Fourier Transform is rather like the Human Alimentary canal....

    The Alimentary Canal takes food, and then transforms it into
something that is a function of the rear end, and hence may
be referred to as, "The Food-Rear Transform".

    The Fourier Transform causes integration over a one second
period, and results in an infinite series of sines.
    The Food-Rear Transform causes disintegration over a 12-hour
period, and results in an infinite series of signs...."Gents",
"Ladies", "Rest Room", etc. etc.

    The Fourier Transform (Tukey's reasoning?) takes Time and
transforms it to a frequency spectrum.
    The Food-Rear Transform takes Parsley, Sage and Thyme (Turkey's
seasoning?) and transforms it to a frequently active rectum.

    "Laplace", literally, "The Place", is how you deal with
the transform.
    "Walsh" is something you do to your hands afterwards.
    "JPeg" is what you hang your jacket on to. It is a form of
compression such that you take up less space and spend less time
there (although the output may be more granular).

    The Fast Fourier Transform must be done through an appropriate
window, otherwise an effect known as the "Picket Fence" problem,
also known as "Spectral Leakage", can occur.
    Diarrhoea is known as the FAST Food-Rear Transform, and if done
through the wrong window can result in a problem (also known
as Rectal Leakage) all over the Picket Fence.

    The Picket Fence problem is also known as, "Scalloping",
something which is normally done to pie crusts. In the old
days, pies used to be made with "Four And Twenty Blackbirds";
but nowadays, members of the Jay family are used. When you go to
someone's house for tea, you politely eat everything that is
put in front of you, but your reaction might be,
"Eat the Jay (Oh my God!) Tea???".
    Similarly, the Fourier Transform is a great consumer
of e^(jwT)... "E to the j, omega, t".

    The Fast Fourier Transform is famous for its Butterflies.
    The Fast Food-Rear Transform is famous for its
Butterflies-in-the-stomach.

    Dirichlet's are the Fourier Transform's conditions, without which
the result is divergent.
    Diarrhoea Shits are the Food-Rear's conditions, with which the
 result is VERY  divergent.

    Having experienced the Fast Fourier Transform, you are then faced
with the Inverse, which can be very daunting. It is a paper
exercise but it can be quite messy.
    Having experienced the Fast Food-Rear Transform, you are then
faced with the "In Verde", literally "In The Grass", which can be
very daunting indeed. (The paper exercise can be quite messy.)

"gareth" <no.spam@thank.you.invalid> wrote:
> Alimentary Fourier Anal-ysis
>                      ----------------------------
> (C) Copyright 1997 Gareth Alun Evans G4SDW
> 
> The Fourier Transform is rather like the Human Alimentary canal....
> 
>     The Alimentary Canal takes food, and then transforms it into
> something that is a function of the rear end, and hence may
> be referred to as, "The Food-Rear Transform".
> 
>     The Fourier Transform causes integration over a one second
> period, and results in an infinite series of sines.
>     The Food-Rear Transform causes disintegration over a 12-hour
> period, and results in an infinite series of signs...."Gents",
> "Ladies", "Rest Room", etc. etc.
> 
>     The Fourier Transform (Tukey's reasoning?) takes Time and
> transforms it to a frequency spectrum.
>     The Food-Rear Transform takes Parsley, Sage and Thyme (Turkey's
> seasoning?) and transforms it to a frequently active rectum.
> 
>     "Laplace", literally, "The Place", is how you deal with
> the transform.
>     "Walsh" is something you do to your hands afterwards.
>     "JPeg" is what you hang your jacket on to. It is a form of
> compression such that you take up less space and spend less time
> there (although the output may be more granular).
> 
>     The Fast Fourier Transform must be done through an appropriate
> window, otherwise an effect known as the "Picket Fence" problem,
> also known as "Spectral Leakage", can occur.
>     Diarrhoea is known as the FAST Food-Rear Transform, and if done
> through the wrong window can result in a problem (also known
> as Rectal Leakage) all over the Picket Fence.
> 
>     The Picket Fence problem is also known as, "Scalloping",
> something which is normally done to pie crusts. In the old
> days, pies used to be made with "Four And Twenty Blackbirds";
> but nowadays, members of the Jay family are used. When you go to
> someone's house for tea, you politely eat everything that is
> put in front of you, but your reaction might be,
> "Eat the Jay (Oh my God!) Tea???".
>     Similarly, the Fourier Transform is a great consumer
> of e^(jwT)... "E to the j, omega, t".
> 
>     The Fast Fourier Transform is famous for its Butterflies.
>     The Fast Food-Rear Transform is famous for its
> Butterflies-in-the-stomach.
> 
>     Dirichlet's are the Fourier Transform's conditions, without which
> the result is divergent.
>     Diarrhoea Shits are the Food-Rear's conditions, with which the
>  result is VERY  divergent.
> 
>     Having experienced the Fast Fourier Transform, you are then faced
> with the Inverse, which can be very daunting. It is a paper
> exercise but it can be quite messy.
>     Having experienced the Fast Food-Rear Transform, you are then
> faced with the "In Verde", literally "In The Grass", which can be
> very daunting indeed. (The paper exercise can be quite messy.)

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-- 
STC // M0TEY // twitter.com/ukradioamateur

Nice one

And alimentary fft resolution is function of number of non rotten teeth
divided by graininess of food.

As to gases ? well it should be done near windows

Kaz

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