OT: An Engineering Program Manager Joke

Hi,
   Things have been pretty quiet hear for the 
last few days.  Having nothing more useful to 
post, here's a joke about Program Managers;

  A program manager has been working his team extra 
  hard and as a small reward offers to take two of 
  the engineers out to lunch.  Walking to the 
  restaurant they trip over a magic lamp and out 
  pops a genie offering them each one wish.  

  The first engineer asks for a yacht in the Pacific 
  with $1 million on board and five beautiful girls.  
  Poof!  He is off to his yacht in the Pacific.  
  The second engineer says, "That sounds great!  
  I'll have the same, except put my yacht in the 
  Caribbean." Poof!  He is off to his yacht in the 
  Caribbean. 

  And what is your wish the genie asks 
  the program manager?  "I want those two back at 
  work in 30 minutes."

[-Rick-]

On 08/26/2014 10:58 AM, Rick Lyons wrote:
>
>
> Hi,
>     Things have been pretty quiet hear for the
> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to
> post, here's a joke about Program Managers;
>
>    A program manager has been working his team extra
>    hard and as a small reward offers to take two of
>    the engineers out to lunch.  Walking to the
>    restaurant they trip over a magic lamp and out
>    pops a genie offering them each one wish.
>
>    The first engineer asks for a yacht in the Pacific
>    with $1 million on board and five beautiful girls.
>    Poof!  He is off to his yacht in the Pacific.
>    The second engineer says, "That sounds great!
>    I'll have the same, except put my yacht in the
>    Caribbean." Poof!  He is off to his yacht in the
>    Caribbean.
>
>    And what is your wish the genie asks
>    the program manager?  "I want those two back at
>    work in 30 minutes."
>
> [-Rick-]
>
A good old Russian peasant joke brought up to date. :-)

Steve

Rick Lyons <R.Lyons@_BOGUS_ieee.org> Wrote in message:
[...]
>    Things have been pretty quiet hear for the 
> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to 
> post, here's a joke about Program Managers;
[...]

I recently found this clip really hilarious:


 http://www.google.ch/url?q=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBKor
P55Aqvg&sa=U&ei=_Ef-U4rdHYWI7AaSj4HABA&ved=0CAsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNF
O3eBtv8Ri4jVgdue23zZLNRbwYg

Al

alb <alessandro.basili@cern.ch> writes:

> Rick Lyons <R.Lyons@_BOGUS_ieee.org> Wrote in message:
> [...]
>>    Things have been pretty quiet hear for the 
>> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to 
>> post, here's a joke about Program Managers;
> [...]
>
> I recently found this clip really hilarious:
>
>  http://www.google.ch/url?q=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBKorP55Aqvg&sa=U&ei=_Ef-U4rdHYWI7AaSj4HABA&ved=0CAsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNFO3eBtv8Ri4jVgdue23zZLNRbwYg

I saw that, too. It is excellent!
-- 
Randy Yates
Digital Signal Labs
http://www.digitalsignallabs.com

On Wed, 27 Aug 2014 23:05:45 +0200, alb wrote:

> Rick Lyons <R.Lyons@_BOGUS_ieee.org> Wrote in message:
> [...]
>>    Things have been pretty quiet hear for the
>> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to post, here's a joke about
>> Program Managers;
> [...]
> 
> I recently found this clip really hilarious:
> 
>  http://www.google.ch/url?q=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBKor
> P55Aqvg&sa=U&ei=_Ef-U4rdHYWI7AaSj4HABA&ved=0CAsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNF
> O3eBtv8Ri4jVgdue23zZLNRbwYg
> 
> Al

I've seen it.  Yes, it's funny.

-- 

Tim Wescott
Wescott Design Services
http://www.wescottdesign.com

On Mon, 25 Aug 2014 19:58:55 -0700, Rick Lyons wrote:

> Hi,
>    Things have been pretty quiet hear for the
> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to post, here's a joke about
> Program Managers;
> 
>   A program manager has been working his team extra hard and as a small
>   reward offers to take two of the engineers out to lunch.  Walking to
>   the restaurant they trip over a magic lamp and out pops a genie
>   offering them each one wish.
> 
>   The first engineer asks for a yacht in the Pacific with $1 million on
>   board and five beautiful girls.
>   Poof!  He is off to his yacht in the Pacific.
>   The second engineer says, "That sounds great! I'll have the same,
>   except put my yacht in the Caribbean." Poof!  He is off to his yacht
>   in the Caribbean.
> 
>   And what is your wish the genie asks the program manager?  "I want
>   those two back at work in 30 minutes."
> 
> [-Rick-]

Found by web search for balloon manager engineer:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces 
height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and 
shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him 
half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering 
approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees 
N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically 
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact 
is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are 
going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you 
expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same 
position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

(Note that this joke has a technical error.  The dialog represents the 
action as occurring over land, yet 41N, 59W is in the North Atlantic, 
about 500 miles east of Cape Cod, and -- unless there are islands that 
Google Maps does not show -- about 330 miles from the nearest land at 
Halifax, Nova Scotia.)

-- 

Tim Wescott
Wescott Design Services
http://www.wescottdesign.com

On 27/08/14 22:05, alb wrote:
> Rick Lyons <R.Lyons@_BOGUS_ieee.org> Wrote in message:
> [...]
>>     Things have been pretty quiet hear for the
>> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to
>> post, here's a joke about Program Managers;
> [...]
>
> I recently found this clip really hilarious:
>
>
>   http://www.google.ch/url?q=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBKor
> P55Aqvg&sa=U&ei=_Ef-U4rdHYWI7AaSj4HABA&ved=0CAsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNF
> O3eBtv8Ri4jVgdue23zZLNRbwYg

No. That's not funny. Not in the slightest.

Tim Wescott <seemywebsite@myfooter.really> wrote:

(snip)

> Found by web search for balloon manager engineer:
 
> A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces 
> height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and 
> shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him 
> half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
 
> The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering 
> approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees 
> N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
 
> "You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
 
> "I am" replies the man. "How did you know."
 
> "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically 
> correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact 
> is I am still lost."
 
> The man below says "You must be a manager."
 
> "I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

(snip of rest of joke)

Last time I heard a form of this joke, the balloon was over 
Microsoft headquarters, in Redmond, WA. 

The ballonist figures out where he is, as that is where he is
most likely to get a technically correct but useless answer.

-- glen

On 08/28/2014 05:05 AM, alb wrote:
> Rick Lyons <R.Lyons@_BOGUS_ieee.org> Wrote in message:
> [...]
>>     Things have been pretty quiet hear for the
>> last few days.  Having nothing more useful to
>> post, here's a joke about Program Managers;
> [...]
>
> I recently found this clip really hilarious:
>
>
>   http://www.google.ch/url?q=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBKor
> P55Aqvg&sa=U&ei=_Ef-U4rdHYWI7AaSj4HABA&ved=0CAsQtwIwAA&usg=AFQjCNF
> O3eBtv8Ri4jVgdue23zZLNRbwYg
>
> Al

I like this one too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GSV2kVkO1w

Steve

Another joke, somewhat similar.

a man scholarly man comes across a genie bottle with his friends and a genie pops out and tells him he can have one of the three choices.  He can have all the money he ever needs, he can have three beautiful woman or he can have all great wisdom.  Naturally, being with his friends he chooses wisdom.   The genie gives him wisdom with a big poof of smoke.  After this all his friends come to him and ask what is the great wisdom he has learned.....at which point he says. ...I should have tok the money.